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Post by wilbarra on May 8, 2017 17:04:40 GMT
WITH GREAT FLOURISH THE COUNCIL UNVEILED THEIR ANSWER TO
THE SECURITY PROBLEM A FEW WEEKS AGO, WHEN THEY PRODUCED
ONE UNTRAINED SECURITY GUARD THE WHOLE OF HAYWARDS HEATH
WITH ANOTHER GREAT FLOURISH HE ARRIVED DOWN THE AMERICA
LANE SITE AND WE THOUGHT WE COULD SLUMBER IN OUR BEDS WHILE
OUR PROPERTY ON THE SITE WAS SAFE.
SINCE THEN THEFTS HAVE GONE ON UNABATED AND THE MYSTERIOUS
SECURITY MAN HAS NEVER BEEN SINCE.
HAS ANYBODY SEEN HIM?
THERE HAS BEEN NO REPORTED SIGHTINGS OF HIM.
BUT WAIT PERHAPS I DO HIM AN INJUSTICE.
HAS HE BEEN DOWN THERE ALL ALONG IN DISGUISE.
PERHAPS HE IS DISGUISED AS THE WATER BUTT THAT MOVED FROM
MY PLOT TO MURRAYS.
THEN AGAIN THAT APPLE TREE THAT IS ON ANOTHER PLOT, I SWEAR IT
KEEPS MOVING INTO DIFFERENT PLACES.
THE FOX THAT STROLLS UP AND DOWN THE SITE , THAT COULD BE HIM
DRESSED AS A FOX.
AS FOR ASKING THE POLICE FOR HELP,
THAT WOULD SERVE NO USEFUL PURPOSE.
THEY WOULD JUST COME DOWN ZOOM PAST THE GATE SO THAT ANY ONE
UNDER THIRTY COULD BE ABLE TO SEE WHAT A REAL POLICEMAN,ON PATROL,
LOOKED LIKE.
BUT THEN PERHAPS THEY REALLY ARE AN EXTINCT SPECIES.
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Post by wilbarra on May 9, 2017 7:18:13 GMT
HAD ANOTHER VISIT FROM THE TOE RAG SECTION OF OUR SOCIETY LAST NIGHT.
WOULD LIKE A VISIT FROM THE SECURITY MAN DURING THE DAY
BUT PLEASE COME IN PLAIN CLOTHES NOT IN ONE OF YOUR MANY DISGUISES.
OR BETTER STILL PERHAPS YOU COULD ROUND UP A REAL POLICEMAN TO ACCOMPANY
YOU.
WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU IF ONLY TO PROVE THAT YOU REALLY EXIST.
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Post by murrayc on May 9, 2017 7:26:35 GMT
HAD ANOTHER VISIT FROM THE TOE RAG SECTION OF OUR SOCIETY LAST NIGHT. WOULD LIKE A VISIT FROM THE SECURITY MAN DURING THE DAY BUT PLEASE COME IN PLAIN CLOTHES NOT IN ONE OF YOUR MANY DISGUISES. OR BETTER STILL PERHAPS YOU COULD ROUND UP A REAL POLICEMAN TO ACCOMPANY YOU. WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU IF ONLY TO PROVE THAT YOU REALLY EXIST. Sorry to hear that, yet again. Can't do anything about the lack of policing in HH or anywhere else but I can give you the number of the Community Warden, which I will send by PM, and I know he will take it seriously. |
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bridgey
Clearing the weeds
Posts: 60 
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Post by bridgey on May 9, 2017 10:50:52 GMT
Now you can see who the security man is
When wilbarra phones him he will be the one with
The phone to his ear
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Post by wilbarra on May 9, 2017 17:05:13 GMT
WAS GIVEN A PHONE NUMBER THAT ONE IS SUPPOSED TO RING IF YOU WANT TO CONTACT THE
MYSTERIOUS SECURITY MAN.
I WAS TOLD THAT YOU HAVE TO CONTACT THE TOWN HALL BEFORE HE WILL APPEAR.
NO DOUBT HE WILL THEN APPEAR IN A PUFF OF SMOKE SHOUTING
"I AM THE GENIE OF THE TOWN HALL LAMP, WHAT DO YOU REQUIRE OF ME"
MY ANSWER TO THAT WOULD BE TO SHOW YOURSELF TO ME AND PROVE THAT YOU ARE NOT SOME
RECORDED MESSAGE ON A TELEPHONE ANSWERING SERVICE.
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Post by wilbarra on May 22, 2017 16:35:43 GMT
THE SECURITY MAN HAS BEEN FOUND.
HE SHOWED HIMSELF LAST THURSDAY AND AGAIN TODAY.
SO AT LAST HE HAS BEEN FOUND AND WE NOW KNOW THAT HE IS REAL.
BUT WE HAVE ANOTHER PROBLEM.
IT SEEMS THAT WE HAVE IN HAYWARDS HEATH A PHANTOM NAPPIE SCATTERER.
THIS PERSON, IT SEEMS, GOES ROUND COLLECTING SOILED NAPPIES, PUTTING THEM IN A BLACK
SACK THEN ON SOME CONVEINANT NIGHT BREAKS IN TO THE SITE AND WITH GAY ABANDON SKIPS
MERRILY UP THE MIDDLE OF THE SITE DISTRIBUTING SOILED NAPPIES TO THE RIGHT AND LEFT OF
HIM OR HER.
IS IT SOME SORT OF RITUAL?, I ASK MYSELF, ARE THERE MORE THAN ONE PERSON INVOLVED?
IS IT SOME DARK, BLACK MAGIC PRACTICE?
THESE PEOPLE CANT BE TEENAGERS
I CANT REMEMBER WHEN I LAST SAW A TEENAGER CARRYING A SACK OF SOILED NAPPIES ON HIS BACK.
OR WHEN THE POLICE LAST CHARGED SOMEONE WITH CARRYING AN OFFENSIVE NAPPIE.
WHY DO THEY DO IT
DO THEY HAVE A POINTS SYSTEM?
IF ITS A COMPETITION WHAT DOES THE WINNER GET
HOW DOES ONE ENTER
DOES ONE HAVE TO BE OVER A CERTAIN AGE TO TAKE PART?
CAN BOTH SEXES TAKE PART?
ALL THESE QUESTIONS NEED TO BE ANSWERED.
PERHAPS OUR SECURITY MAN CAN FIND OUT FOR US.
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Post by jane on May 24, 2017 13:02:06 GMT
I met the security man yesterday morning! Good to meet him and put a face and name to the official mentioned on this forum. Thank you for coming down and taking to time to say hi..
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Post by wilbarra on May 24, 2017 17:33:16 GMT
in my conversation with him
seems to be the right man for the job.
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Post by Admin on Jun 13, 2017 6:15:02 GMT
Latest update on this from the Environment and General Purposes Committee meeting last night.
The security company are supplying different personnel to walk the plot, and times will vary, so that there will be a frequent presence there to make thieves and vandals aware. We will be supplied with contact details to go directly to the security officer so that they can investigate any reports.
We've also had some issues with the gate. There is an annoying problem with the lock that sometimes sticks and this has been reported to the Town Council with a request that they replace it. Once this is resolved please lock the gate at all times - it has been left open quite late in the evening recently and this is obviously not secure.
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